Elvis almost left the building, by Gary Davis
You
don’t know squat.
So I’m at the event to do my Elvis show. It’s on a stage and they’re going to open me up with these Vegas showgirls with feathers in their hair and bikini outfits and it seems like the perfect opportunity to showcase the King. But then, I walk in and realize the people aren’t really there for the show. They’re there to be with each other. There could be 100, 150 people there but there is nobody within 30 or 40 feet of the stage and as I begin to walk around through the crowd to touch people’s hands, nobody will really touch my hand.
I get up on the stage and do my show. I do my dance. I do my songs. Nobody is really listening, nobody is clapping. Then I finish my first two songs and it’s time to do the special song that they requested that I do. They requested it. I didn’t even want to do it but I’m willing to do anything. As I was sitting in the back considering changing my show, I’m thinking, “I’m a good performer. I’m the kind of performer that tries to do whatever the client needs. I’ll do it even though I have not practiced it and they have sprung this on me. It’ll be fun.”
But then the song doesn’t come on. Can’t Help Falling in Love comes on, which is my last song, and I tell the DJ, “Wait, wait. They wanted me to do one more,” and he hollers at me in a tone, you know what a tone is right? He hollers at me in a tone, “WE CUT THAT!”
So I say, “Well start that song over.” They started over and I sing my final song, hitting every note, giving it all I’ve got but having to generate like nobody’s business. There’s a big difference between performing when people are interested and performing when no one is interested. It’s like trying to drive with flat tires. You can do it, but it kind of tears up the tires.
So, like a set of mangled radials I walked back to the back room, through the kitchen. None of the people in the kitchen saw the show. They just looked a little surprised--maybe even perturbed that somebody was walking through their kitchen. Everything I’m thinking is having me see nothing but problems now.
I go back and start taking my costume off. Well, I’m in the back. I’m parked way in the back. I can shove everything in this box and go out the back door. Screw these people. You know, screw these people. I did a good job for them and this is how I get paid back. Every thought that I have is an embarrassing thought to say out loud, but it’s not an embarrassing thought to have. It seems right. It seems like just the thought I should be having, given how I’m being treated. Pride run amok, but my stomach saves the day.
If it weren’t for the buffet that they had spread out for the Vegas-style, showcase meeting I would already be on I-40 headed for Charlotte--but, when I had gotten ready, all the food was covered in plastic and I saw, as I was walking off the stage, there were people in line so I figure hey, I’ll go get some free food. It’s the least they owe me.
As I walked through the crowd to get to the buffet line, and stand in line at the buffet, no one says anything to me. As I get my chicken cordon bleu and my roast beef, no one says anything to me. As I look around for a table to sit at, no one beckons me over. No one waves. No one says anything. I find an empty table and sit down by myself. Fine, I’ll just eat and leave. Obviously nobody’s too impressed with the Elvis show tonight.
Then, two people come up and say, “Are you sitting by yourself? Can we get these chairs?” (I think they mean take the chairs, but they mean sit in them). They sit down and then another one joins us, and they’re talking about what they do and I am asking is this their first time at this conference, and I smile and I’m not really interested in talking to anybody. They say, yes, and the one woman, who was singing at a piano at the beginning, says she is just starting a business. I told her how beautiful she sang, because she really did, and how much I enjoyed it, because I really did. She said, “Aw, thank you.” She asked me if this was my first time. I said, “Yes, I just had a friend that was a DJ and they needed an Elvis.” Before I could say anything else--“YOU WERE ELVIS? THAT WAS YOU? OH MY GOD. THAT WAS AMAZING.” Before I could even thank her, they call over four more people. “THIS GUY. HE WAS ELVIS. WASN’T THAT GREAT? OH, THAT WAS AMAZING. THAT WAS GREAT.”
It turns out, they didn’t recognize me. Probably nobody recognized me. I was up on stage, wearing sunglasses--30 or 40 feet away--wearing an Elvis costume with sunglasses and now I’m sitting here in a blue sport coat and a pink shirt. I was just like another one of the people at the conference.
That’s not the real great part because so far the only thing that’s happened is that I’ve gone from feeling like nobody liked it to finding out that six people did like it, and that they were happy to feed my ego with the “That was great,” remark. Then, the thing happened that was not going to happen. I got ready to leave and I found the person that was the head of the event center that was having this event, a beautiful space over in North Raleigh. She said, “Hey, do you have a card? I want to get your card because I think that I can really use you. We have a lot of corporate luncheons and events. I think they would love your Elvis show.”
Corporate…Hmmm. I told her, “Well, I do. I can get you a card. Also, I do a speech with my Elvis speech that is from the management consulting work that I do about how we can get beyond our considerations and concerns, and step out and be courageous and do things we wouldn’t otherwise do, and I do it in conjunction with my Elvis show.”
“That would be perfect,” she says. “That would be great. You should definitely, definitely send me something. I need to know more about that. We’ve got a lunch tomorrow, 200 people.”
Unfortunately, tomorrow won’t work for me because I’m headed to Charlotte but I’ll bet there’s going to be at least four or five opportunities for me to do a speech and Elvis show in Raleigh this year, all because of this interaction that I had with Adelaide. She might have tracked me down. It may have happened anyway but the reason it happened tonight was because I just happened to be too hungry to drive to Charlotte.
It may have happened anyway but the reason it happened tonight was because I just happened to be too hungry to drive to Charlotte, so I didn't listen to the voice in my head telling me to go out the back door.
So I’m at the event to do my Elvis show. It’s on a stage and they’re going to open me up with these Vegas showgirls with feathers in their hair and bikini outfits and it seems like the perfect opportunity to showcase the King. But then, I walk in and realize the people aren’t really there for the show. They’re there to be with each other. There could be 100, 150 people there but there is nobody within 30 or 40 feet of the stage and as I begin to walk around through the crowd to touch people’s hands, nobody will really touch my hand.
I get up on the stage and do my show. I do my dance. I do my songs. Nobody is really listening, nobody is clapping. Then I finish my first two songs and it’s time to do the special song that they requested that I do. They requested it. I didn’t even want to do it but I’m willing to do anything. As I was sitting in the back considering changing my show, I’m thinking, “I’m a good performer. I’m the kind of performer that tries to do whatever the client needs. I’ll do it even though I have not practiced it and they have sprung this on me. It’ll be fun.”
But then the song doesn’t come on. Can’t Help Falling in Love comes on, which is my last song, and I tell the DJ, “Wait, wait. They wanted me to do one more,” and he hollers at me in a tone, you know what a tone is right? He hollers at me in a tone, “WE CUT THAT!”
So I say, “Well start that song over.” They started over and I sing my final song, hitting every note, giving it all I’ve got but having to generate like nobody’s business. There’s a big difference between performing when people are interested and performing when no one is interested. It’s like trying to drive with flat tires. You can do it, but it kind of tears up the tires.
So, like a set of mangled radials I walked back to the back room, through the kitchen. None of the people in the kitchen saw the show. They just looked a little surprised--maybe even perturbed that somebody was walking through their kitchen. Everything I’m thinking is having me see nothing but problems now.
I go back and start taking my costume off. Well, I’m in the back. I’m parked way in the back. I can shove everything in this box and go out the back door. Screw these people. You know, screw these people. I did a good job for them and this is how I get paid back. Every thought that I have is an embarrassing thought to say out loud, but it’s not an embarrassing thought to have. It seems right. It seems like just the thought I should be having, given how I’m being treated. Pride run amok, but my stomach saves the day.
If it weren’t for the buffet that they had spread out for the Vegas-style, showcase meeting I would already be on I-40 headed for Charlotte--but, when I had gotten ready, all the food was covered in plastic and I saw, as I was walking off the stage, there were people in line so I figure hey, I’ll go get some free food. It’s the least they owe me.
As I walked through the crowd to get to the buffet line, and stand in line at the buffet, no one says anything to me. As I get my chicken cordon bleu and my roast beef, no one says anything to me. As I look around for a table to sit at, no one beckons me over. No one waves. No one says anything. I find an empty table and sit down by myself. Fine, I’ll just eat and leave. Obviously nobody’s too impressed with the Elvis show tonight.
Then, two people come up and say, “Are you sitting by yourself? Can we get these chairs?” (I think they mean take the chairs, but they mean sit in them). They sit down and then another one joins us, and they’re talking about what they do and I am asking is this their first time at this conference, and I smile and I’m not really interested in talking to anybody. They say, yes, and the one woman, who was singing at a piano at the beginning, says she is just starting a business. I told her how beautiful she sang, because she really did, and how much I enjoyed it, because I really did. She said, “Aw, thank you.” She asked me if this was my first time. I said, “Yes, I just had a friend that was a DJ and they needed an Elvis.” Before I could say anything else--“YOU WERE ELVIS? THAT WAS YOU? OH MY GOD. THAT WAS AMAZING.” Before I could even thank her, they call over four more people. “THIS GUY. HE WAS ELVIS. WASN’T THAT GREAT? OH, THAT WAS AMAZING. THAT WAS GREAT.”
It turns out, they didn’t recognize me. Probably nobody recognized me. I was up on stage, wearing sunglasses--30 or 40 feet away--wearing an Elvis costume with sunglasses and now I’m sitting here in a blue sport coat and a pink shirt. I was just like another one of the people at the conference.
That’s not the real great part because so far the only thing that’s happened is that I’ve gone from feeling like nobody liked it to finding out that six people did like it, and that they were happy to feed my ego with the “That was great,” remark. Then, the thing happened that was not going to happen. I got ready to leave and I found the person that was the head of the event center that was having this event, a beautiful space over in North Raleigh. She said, “Hey, do you have a card? I want to get your card because I think that I can really use you. We have a lot of corporate luncheons and events. I think they would love your Elvis show.”
Corporate…Hmmm. I told her, “Well, I do. I can get you a card. Also, I do a speech with my Elvis speech that is from the management consulting work that I do about how we can get beyond our considerations and concerns, and step out and be courageous and do things we wouldn’t otherwise do, and I do it in conjunction with my Elvis show.”
“That would be perfect,” she says. “That would be great. You should definitely, definitely send me something. I need to know more about that. We’ve got a lunch tomorrow, 200 people.”
Unfortunately, tomorrow won’t work for me because I’m headed to Charlotte but I’ll bet there’s going to be at least four or five opportunities for me to do a speech and Elvis show in Raleigh this year, all because of this interaction that I had with Adelaide. She might have tracked me down. It may have happened anyway but the reason it happened tonight was because I just happened to be too hungry to drive to Charlotte.
It may have happened anyway but the reason it happened tonight was because I just happened to be too hungry to drive to Charlotte, so I didn't listen to the voice in my head telling me to go out the back door.
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