Dorrier Underwood

Having a big vision is a mixed blessing. For one thing, the bigger the vision, the more likely Integrity is on its way out. Growing up, I heard a lot about "doing business on a handshake," which meant honorable people kept their word to each other even without a signed document. It was understood that “forgetting about" the agreement cemented by that handshake—or waffling on it—would damage one’s reputation in the community. A promise does not exist in isolation. The issue of integrity is not a personal issue. There is always somebody else involved—or many somebodies. My first thought when I'm not going to make a deadline is that I'm bad. It takes effort to set aside "showing how sorry I am," so I can remember the strategic purpose that my promise serves. It also takes compassion (on the part of the person who made the promise and the person to whom something has been promised) to let go of blame, so we can focus clearly on what needs to happe...

Forwarding the Action means empowering others to succinctly address the matter at hand so the next thing can happen. Fundamentally, forwarding the action often means knowing when to shut up. That is a “big ask” of the average human being! I was going over a Vision document with Gary and Nancy, so they could critique it, add to it, and help me take it to the next draft. When they suggested I take out a part or say it a different way, I reflexively began explaining why I did it that way to begin with. “Well, what I had been thinking was...” “I know, I just thought when I wrote this that...”          I forgot that the purpose of the conversation was not to uncover my motives for writing it the way I did. It was nearly impossible for me to simply shut up about that, and get clear on the new suggestion or addition. How much more useful to ask more about their suggestions than to defend what I had already writ...

We talk  a lot about the definition of integrity, practices for integrity and restoring integrity. One thing became clear for me this week: integrity is nothing more than workability. It doesn’t have to exist in any specialized language. We all know whether something works, or not--a conversation, a meeting, a paragraph--and we all know when, instead, it falls flat, misses the mark, fails to communicate. Fred said he would call me, and we had scheduled the call for 5pm, weeks in advance.  It was in our calendars. I turned down two other requests from people: “Sorry, I have a call right at five.” It was to be an important conversation, so I was trying to get clear in my own mind what I wanted to discuss, what I would listen for in his voice, what I might ask about, or ask to hear more about. What would Nancy and Jane ask me later that I would regret not finding out? My day was organized around this last business appointment, which might take me until 6 pm....

Encouragement, that’s what I get from my dog every morning. Go ahead and get up, I can hardly wait, she says with her tongue. She has a way of licking my chin; cheek and ear that makes me feel devoured but not threatened. And then she usually slips in that deft little bite on the top of my ear, too gentle to properly be called a bite, more of a love nip that she slips in while I am busy doing my combination laugh-cringe-try-to-get-away move. It is an oral assault she mounts against my face, and finally I have to grab her head and push it gently away. Go ahead and get up, it’ll be great , her eager eyes say. The root of encouragement is courage. The courage to face the day. Why do I need that? And from a canine! Not even of my species and she somehow counteracts this dreadful weight of knowledge that wakes me up and makes me discouraged. It takes my courage away just to wake up into a world where cartoonists get assassinated for their political views and I know I am going to die with...

It's not a decision, it is a bunch of coordinated choices. I did NOT want to run today. First I go eat pasta at lunch with CREAM SAUCE. The conversation is good and the food is amazing, but as I come home on the belt-line I notice I am only going 50 and on the side of the road. I will nap. But you were going to run this afternoon, But I am so tired and I am only running a 5k. I have been so good, I deserve it, I will not eat the pasta again, just let me nap this time and I will be good. Choice, I take the exit towards the gym. But that exit also takes me to my house. Choice, I go straight at Kildaire. But I could just ride by, and I am PRETTY SURE I WILL. Choice, I turn in. I sit in the parking lot and listen to Hunter Thompson, in the worst throes of a pasta coma. As he describes his drug induced escapade, I drift in and out of consciousness. I wake up, it has been 10 minutes since I parked, and I have been passed out, I should just go home. Choice, I get m...