Vices and Passions, by Ginny Brien
For a brief while this summer all of my children were up at Bill and Elizabeth Ross's farm. William flew the coop and his job after weeks of feeling down about it. The day before he called Elizabeth he said, "I've given up all my vices at once, smoking daily, drinking daily," and I felt a little sick and then exhausted to have given him the space to use his money on self-destructive things. Hana was talking about people she's talked to who say they're fine with being a prostitute or male escort, and we were wondering whether it's really fine, or whether denial is at work and at some level they want more. I don't know. I do know this is not the first time William has given up his vices. Maybe it's the desire to please us, to look good, or maybe it's seeing, from time to time, the cost of the vices. I see the cost of eating wheat and milk, and I tolerate it. How do people shift to self-care? I think it's love, experiencing ourselves as l