The Alternative Resume, by Nancy Dorrier

Today, after connecting on many points with a fabulous candidate for our team, I asked him:  “Harry, what would take me a long time to find out about you, the good and the bad?”

Without hesitation, he told me about his music career and his deep abiding love for his parents, his love of cooking and holding dinnertime sacred with his family, and the Friday night Seders where everyone comes, even the teenagers.

When I said, “And the bad,” he said without hesitation: “I don’t write things down. In the moment, I am not thinking of the future moment when I will need the information, and that has gotten me in trouble. I’m also more afraid than I look like.  I am filled with fear.”  He said it with a little catch in his throat, being afraid as he said it.  It was totally authentic, and I got it.

I shared that I too was afraid. And I shared that, as consultants, we know it’s universal; it’s not personal, and it is everywhere.

And we pretend it is nowhere.

“So write this down,” I say, and I explain about the alternative resume.

The alternative resume.  Like the alternative universe, it may be more real than the traditional resume of education and job experience.  It includes all those things that make you human instead of merely a collection of skills and accomplishments, all the things you might find out about someone if you had plenty of time and nothing was more important than discovering who that other person was.

Harry wrote that he’s been married for 34 years, that he held his preemie baby for hours at the hospital after she was born. That he played piano since age 4. That he repairs stringed instruments (an amateur luthier). That he is a wood turner, and woodworker, a fabulous cook. Sits down to a slow dinner and conversation every night. Passionate, intense.  A tender heart. Easily moved – and proud of it.

I first wrote an alternative resume for one of my young friends, 12 years ago, before he was a father, now one of his biggest talents:

Charlie’s  Abilities:  30th birthday

Expert in dog training, especially Chesapeake Bay retriever, especially Luke Skywalker.

Imitations, especially Billy Bob Thornton in Swing Blade.

Taught dancing to a boy from India at the school for math and science and explained to him, Yes you do have to actually touch the girl.

Clothes horse from the inside: no lumps, no chafing, no scratching, no yucky feeling or else he lies on the floor and screams or at least is in a bad mood.

Handy man work and all yard work.
Cleans out garages, shed, attic and basements.

Computer consulting and will play Pac Man with you during the consulting.

Dish washing every night.

Knowing all the words to Lyle Lovett songs and will sing a special version of “I Love Everybody Especially You” on command.

Makes homemade greeting cards.

Cries at movies.

Cried when he told his wife’s parents that he loved their daughter and was going to ask her to marry him.

Ran half marathon with virtually no training.

Still goes to summer camp (family reunions) and plays with cousins: arm wrestling, kayaking, launching rockets, golf, tennis, bridge.

Recycle expert, will crush beer cans and plastic bottles, sort, and haul to the recycle center.

House painter: within the last year has painted two houses inside and moved and kept his marriage intact.

Art connoisseur.

Engineer (just ask him to design anything).

Advice giver (all sorts).

Lover of everything, especially you.

Today I added to Charlie’s alternative resume:

Sewing
Taught kids how to use a radial saw
Cub scouts
Camping
Ukulele playing
Flying a glider
Still as sweet as ever

When I showed his wife, she added:
And he fixed our AC last week for $108 v. the $1200 we were quoted.

Now we know who he is really.  Or we may never really know.  It is an endless, amazing wide-open discovery and creation.

Amen